2days to go!

sorry havent wrote in FOREVER!
well its the week!FINALLY !thought this day would never come.
training is actually hard for once... & im so un-motivated for it..
Been super clean all week!havent cheated since last monday!holding out as long as i can! oz i wana go to watch ANB nationals in a couple of weeks ill b filming/interviewing/photographs everyone for Mikes teams website so cant wait&i wana look hot doing it.
I can defiantly see changer this week!abs r showing i can wear short tight tops :-) which i did last night to the gym.Never got so many looks before.My arms were lean &veiny it was great!
today i feel like absolute SHIT!No carbs all week only protein+broccoli .Life is great :-p
so im doing another federation to what i initially planned to do. WNBF which iv done every other time.Coz i can do Sports model & USA Figure (which u dont have to b extremely RIPPED) which im not.coz iv fkd up so much on diet :-(
NEXT YEAR !i shouldn't of even planned to compete this time ,its like iv been dieting all year!not 100% but mostly! need my body A REST! re-set & get pumped for next year!

I haven't drank" since June then before that January! same with chocolate! im kinda scared to go back there too..


Overdoing it with cardio thats why im getting no response! so il have to stop completly (well apart from my classes) & try eat clean as. then slowly start cardio again. thats fkd hey!fitness instructors get to that plateu were all the work is going to becoming more FIT rather then burning fat :-(
I got a spin class to teach this arvo.. wtf ..i got some new beats (songs) so that hopefully will get me pumped! then for my spray tann.
Just putting more diamonds on my costume atm,,im using the ones from last year (for sports model,baby blue) & this year (for Figure-aqua )-which is the one im loading with diamons so it looks different. haha
This weekend will b a bit of a battle.its a 2day comp,so sports model Saturday,then Sunday
im depleting already,last 3days been having 8 yes 8!litres of water a day.10x to the toilet a night! today's 4 tomorrow 2,then 0 (sips) all weekend.ill b fkd Sunday!
Im so excited!i cant wait!
anyways swill post tomorrow if i remember to see how things go.
OV-WA
xx