grrrrrr. thought after saturday i woulda been back on track but nooooooooooo i f*%ked up again!idno whats going on with my brain hey..
I broke my phone today,it dropped &smashed,screen utterally damaged so have no phone.Serves me right.i have pitty on myself right now..yesterday would of have to of been the BIGGEST yep BIGGEST binge of my life!it started with meal 2 and went on..
Its wednesday middle of the week & i couldnt even wait till the weeknd! grrrr.Im going backwards hey..like im wanting to do the comp on 2 1/2weeks.No way will i b ready! i just want a smashing body for summer in the long run! And if im going to Parklife (musci festival)which is in like 6weeks,i want a killer stomach! Im seeing Mike friday..gota see what he says bout the comps coming up soon.
If nothing ill probs go watch one &then wait till Central coast ANB in 6weeks.then Nationals 8weeks.
So yesterday DISASTER DAY!
i wanted to have the day off.coz the rest if the week i can train.
i slept in.was really good. Had my 1st meal. 5egg whites with 40g oats. Then i was still hungry after that,so i decided to make a big salad &out beans & cheese in it.Bad decision. then was still hungry after that..so had like 3bowls of oats!and then
cereal-weetbix with jam,peanut butter,biscuits,rice cakes,bread!!!
Mum made apple crumble o the weekend & i was saving it for this weekend ATE THAT!
I was seeing my friend that day was gona go surfing but its flat.I went to her house then we went up the mall to get lunch,my brain was still in "eat anything&everything mode"so i did it :-(
I bought myself this chicken avocado &seafood salad.so yum,ate it on the beach.Then we went & got Cold rock (icecream)where u can mix in different stuff.im still stong with the NO chocolate..i ordered - Regular size coconut&cake batter flavored icecream with caramel fudge&cookie doe mix in.geez how much sugars in that!?
After that yep still hungry so went and bought a protein bar& had these gluten free wafer biscuits i had in my car from saturday night. After that we went back to my friends house watch movies & fell asleep. fk i was depressed! idno why i keep doing this to myself... seriously..
Went home after that.thought it was all over but NOOOO it wasnt! drove past this bakery which has amazing food!! Bought a -Coconut jam slice,Honey&almond slice & this riccota tart.Ate it all on my drive home... :-( Got home kept it rolling.. had crackers&french dip.
Dinner time came not huingry at all... had some pumkin soup yeh go the carbs laura.U idiot!and then some meat&a bita salad. That was it for me done! bloated & sick.
Today ive cut all portions in 1/2 and no carbs. And tomorow i will have zero carbs too.
Just my protein and greens
Thats what i get for being an idiot!!! i deadset feel like actually DO have an eating disorder..
i need to overcome it though...jjusty get through this week sweet & keep battling on. I feel good after a few days & then when i sart seeign changes i get more motivated!
well i hope i do what i say. Coz alot of this good advice i give myself & sAY goes out the window..
gbye..
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Day Off
Its thursday morning.Woke up in the middle of the night & just could not get back to sleep.so annoying!I think i might have to run a circuit class today for the school kids like i did last week.not sure yet..wait for the call.i have an interview with Curves this afternoon but its a fair way away & i really cant be bothered go that far.. blah...
i dont know why but i was craving almonds lastnight bad!! came home from teaching my spin class had dinner,was sweet.Then went upstairs to watch some tv&got stuck into nuts.grrr im sos mad,czo i gave up on them!and i had a whole bag of roasted almonds.they were so good at the time but after i was like yuk!need to get through to saturday !!Weather was so nice yesterday not like today its gross!went for a surf ,sunbacked for a bit,got no tann though..its still winter but hey i try.anyways hopefully next time i write theres some interesting things to say..
Lv x
Sunday, August 16, 2009
1st day of the week
Wow i taught 7spin classes last week.Hard out.Todays my day off yay!
Shit sleep all week but saturday & lastnight was better :-) .im suprised how many people showed up yesterday morning for 9:30 spin.Was really good,i think i taught a very good one.Got a few good compliments &a guy said i communicate reeally well :-) .Had to go straight to my waitress work down near the beach,i waitress there been there since Janruary,my boyfriends good mates dad runs it.Im going to have to bail on it soon though,its just all too much for me atm..
Saturday i had an early class.Then my bf took me to Bondi beach,we had lunch there & looked at the shops,was such a nice day.I cant wait till summer!
anyways till next time.
Lv
x
Shit sleep all week but saturday & lastnight was better :-) .im suprised how many people showed up yesterday morning for 9:30 spin.Was really good,i think i taught a very good one.Got a few good compliments &a guy said i communicate reeally well :-) .Had to go straight to my waitress work down near the beach,i waitress there been there since Janruary,my boyfriends good mates dad runs it.Im going to have to bail on it soon though,its just all too much for me atm..
Saturday i had an early class.Then my bf took me to Bondi beach,we had lunch there & looked at the shops,was such a nice day.I cant wait till summer!
anyways till next time.
Lv
x
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
End of week been 100%clean :-)
i am literraly buggered!
bad sleep again last night. Yesterday i actually had a good one.My bf Paul gave me just 1melatonin tablet & i was out like a light. I got "the time of the month" yesterday.suprised i actully got them,with the amount fo exercise ive been doing. bad p-pain lastnight :-(
Went out for dinner with my friend&her mum lastnight coz shes going to Hawaii tonight for 2weeks so lucky!!! ive been there twice & i have to say the best place ever!!!!!!!!!!!
I was very good,i chose salmon on salad with a side serve of vegges -broccoli,carrot,corn. i was meant to have my M5-50gsweet p. +protein+greens. so the veggies made up for my carbs.
Trained shoulders in the arvo,im starting to see my arms looking better :-)
So its thursday nearly end of week :-) ive been so good with diet,so proud of myself. Going to see Mike tomorow night.. Taught spin this morning & went hard!my sister came along shes funny,i could see her bright white teeth glowing from the fluro lights.
i just got called up from another gym to fill in a class at 1pm,school class.so that should be alright,but i have an interview anytime from 12-3pm at Elite Fitness at cronulla,so hopefully i get there on time!! its right on the beach.well better be off things to do today:
-1pm class
-Elite Fitness interview ( get M3 down)
-Train-nulla fit1st Legs+claves+abs :-/ (M4)
was meant to go for a run on the esplanade with couple of my friends but dout thatl b happening
-Come home RELAX! cant wait for that!!! and see my baby.
TTFN tata for now
need some caffeine hey.. !
Lv
x
bad sleep again last night. Yesterday i actually had a good one.My bf Paul gave me just 1melatonin tablet & i was out like a light. I got "the time of the month" yesterday.suprised i actully got them,with the amount fo exercise ive been doing. bad p-pain lastnight :-(
Went out for dinner with my friend&her mum lastnight coz shes going to Hawaii tonight for 2weeks so lucky!!! ive been there twice & i have to say the best place ever!!!!!!!!!!!
I was very good,i chose salmon on salad with a side serve of vegges -broccoli,carrot,corn. i was meant to have my M5-50gsweet p. +protein+greens. so the veggies made up for my carbs.
Trained shoulders in the arvo,im starting to see my arms looking better :-)
So its thursday nearly end of week :-) ive been so good with diet,so proud of myself. Going to see Mike tomorow night.. Taught spin this morning & went hard!my sister came along shes funny,i could see her bright white teeth glowing from the fluro lights.
i just got called up from another gym to fill in a class at 1pm,school class.so that should be alright,but i have an interview anytime from 12-3pm at Elite Fitness at cronulla,so hopefully i get there on time!! its right on the beach.well better be off things to do today:
-1pm class
-Elite Fitness interview ( get M3 down)
-Train-nulla fit1st Legs+claves+abs :-/ (M4)
was meant to go for a run on the esplanade with couple of my friends but dout thatl b happening
-Come home RELAX! cant wait for that!!! and see my baby.
TTFN tata for now
need some caffeine hey.. !
Lv
x
Monday, August 10, 2009
Too awake.Need sleep!
Me (blonde hair 2008.1st comp)Well been good this week (even though its only Tuesday morning-but my week starts Sunday).Had to get up early to teach spin down at the platinum gym on the beach.It was beautiful watching the sun rise above the ocean&the surf looked amazing!i snoozed for 20min this morning so was running late but got there just in time.
Had 2classes yesterday &im dead!been having bad sleep for the last few days,dont have another class till thursday morning so hopefully i can catch up on my sleep.Dont think ill be able to today with the amount of caffeine i had this morning :-/
Havent had any signs of hunger or cravings so fingers crossed i get through this week without it.i let myself a cheat Saturday,but im gona try my hardest not to and if i do then itl b planned and i will eat the same as i am now just more,probs more carbs.
im meant to go see Mike tonight (he helps me with food prep for competition)i was meant to see him last week,but i had so many cheats i was just too embarrassed ..i still am now,coz i know i should be looking leaner then i am.4weeks this weekend in i do the WNBF state titles.i really dont think im ready but,,thats the closest comp,then theres 8weeks till the last..
Well im off.
Till next time.
F. d+d (FOCUS. Discipline+Determination) (Me dark hair- 2009)
L.v
x
Had 2classes yesterday &im dead!been having bad sleep for the last few days,dont have another class till thursday morning so hopefully i can catch up on my sleep.Dont think ill be able to today with the amount of caffeine i had this morning :-/
Havent had any signs of hunger or cravings so fingers crossed i get through this week without it.i let myself a cheat Saturday,but im gona try my hardest not to and if i do then itl b planned and i will eat the same as i am now just more,probs more carbs.
im meant to go see Mike tonight (he helps me with food prep for competition)i was meant to see him last week,but i had so many cheats i was just too embarrassed ..i still am now,coz i know i should be looking leaner then i am.4weeks this weekend in i do the WNBF state titles.i really dont think im ready but,,thats the closest comp,then theres 8weeks till the last..
Well im off.
Till next time.
F. d+d (FOCUS. Discipline+Determination) (Me dark hair- 2009)
L.v
x
Friday, August 7, 2009
Weird re-juvanting day!
My first post...
where do i start..
wel its a friday yay weekend begins!But then i look back to the week ive had and,did i fufill it?
Did i eat 100% clean?
Did i do my training according to plan?
well answer is.
Diet- no :-( Training-Yes :-). but i need diet to be yes!!
struggle street i have to say.. big wake up call..and iv had so many i the last few weeks its horrible! last night another binge took place.seriously once i start i cant stop.its like my brain is on auto pilot the binge-devil comes out and i wont stop eating till im sick!and its always at night,so what,i go to bed after this?thats fat just asking to b put on.
And yeh it tastes good,but after is the worst!!! Depression kicks in hard &then the days following i must pay the consequnces of cutting out carbs &extra cardio.Wheres this gona get me?=NO WHERE! to get lean it requires Clean eating.
i have 5weeks till State wnbf or 6weeks till ANB 7weeks INBA.if i do these.But majorly Nationals in october.My goal-to cpmpete in nationals. Ive done this before (competed,dieted) i CAN do it again. I just seem to be struggling this time.da-sha-voo how ever u spell the word.from last year.
I ompeted in May & tried for nationals but got to 2weeks dieting & gave up.i think i needed to give my body a good rest.Coz come this May 2009 i was sweet,nt im doing it again & its fkn torturuse!!!
most of all i just want to b fit looking coz i am a fitness instructor &i love looking&feeling good.summer is soon,man i love the beach & surfing.all that with a good body &a 6pack will b amazing!!!
i ate good today .45min a.m hard walk.Trained arms in the arvo practised my class on the bike for 1/2 hr. then went for a light jog on the beach while the storm came in.Just had dinner & Now im playing with charlie,my sisters fiance's son.hes 2 & full of energy.so much, fun!my bf just got here so i better be off. gota get up early to teach a class. till next time.
Eat like a pro
Train like a pro
Be like a pro
Become a pro!
Lv x (Picture on top right,is Felicia Romero.stunning IFBB competitor)
where do i start..
wel its a friday yay weekend begins!But then i look back to the week ive had and,did i fufill it?
Did i eat 100% clean?
Did i do my training according to plan?
well answer is.
Diet- no :-( Training-Yes :-). but i need diet to be yes!!
struggle street i have to say.. big wake up call..and iv had so many i the last few weeks its horrible! last night another binge took place.seriously once i start i cant stop.its like my brain is on auto pilot the binge-devil comes out and i wont stop eating till im sick!and its always at night,so what,i go to bed after this?thats fat just asking to b put on.
And yeh it tastes good,but after is the worst!!! Depression kicks in hard &then the days following i must pay the consequnces of cutting out carbs &extra cardio.Wheres this gona get me?=NO WHERE! to get lean it requires Clean eating.
i have 5weeks till State wnbf or 6weeks till ANB 7weeks INBA.if i do these.But majorly Nationals in october.My goal-to cpmpete in nationals. Ive done this before (competed,dieted) i CAN do it again. I just seem to be struggling this time.da-sha-voo how ever u spell the word.from last year.
I ompeted in May & tried for nationals but got to 2weeks dieting & gave up.i think i needed to give my body a good rest.Coz come this May 2009 i was sweet,nt im doing it again & its fkn torturuse!!!
most of all i just want to b fit looking coz i am a fitness instructor &i love looking&feeling good.summer is soon,man i love the beach & surfing.all that with a good body &a 6pack will b amazing!!!
i ate good today .45min a.m hard walk.Trained arms in the arvo practised my class on the bike for 1/2 hr. then went for a light jog on the beach while the storm came in.Just had dinner & Now im playing with charlie,my sisters fiance's son.hes 2 & full of energy.so much, fun!my bf just got here so i better be off. gota get up early to teach a class. till next time.
Eat like a pro
Train like a pro
Be like a pro
Become a pro!
Lv x (Picture on top right,is Felicia Romero.stunning IFBB competitor)
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