its 5:30am

i cant sleep! I was laying in bed ,tummy rumbling&awake. :-(

My bfs still asleep in my bed,this suck..hopefully i can get a nap in today.

Yesterday ended up being a great 1!Got sequences for my bikini & shit loads of asparagus :-p Nails done&tann. Trained with a crop top &taught my spin class in 1 too,Had loads of energy for the clas,sweet new music & loved it.so many ppl were looking into the class haha.The1 i do at Wanda beach is covered by a glass wall u can see into.

So today i hope goes quick.

im so hungry yet don't wana to give in.its a good hunger pain coz im so close to going on stage &i dont care bout shit food right now.Im lovin the tummy :-) in how its looking hey

Im minding a dog today a baby puggle/cross terrier 1yr old only 10kg till Sunday.cant wait.Yet i wont b here all weekend..well im dead

bye

x

• You know you are a figure competitor when...
  Someone asks about the man in your life and you tell them that Gym is fineYou have two sections in your wardrobe. On season and Off season...they are not mix and match6Your priorities on any given day: Eat Clean,Train mean .Focus on your goal You can name any pro figure competitor by seeing her butt alone When someone wants to take your picture, you immediately spread your lats, tighten every muscle in your body, point your fingers and SMILEYou take more supplements daily than your 80 year old grandmotherYour idea of dressing up is taking your hair out of the ponytail its been in for a week You have had someone close to you, hide food from you in your own house. An easy day is lifting and only 1 cardio sessionInstead of carrying a Gucci purse you accessorize with a cute little eski(where all ur days worth of food is)Waking up so sore you can barely move puts a smile on your faceYou can't do any work because you are to busy counting down the seconds until your next meal!!The faint smell of ‘Pro Tan’ gets your heart pumping faster than your man's cologneYou leave a little trail of Splenda packets, tupperware, & empty water bottles everywhere you goYour hubby makes you pee in the guest bathroom because every meal includes asparagus.hahaYour jaws are sore because you can't stop chewing sugar free gumYou spend at least 5 minutes grilling your server at a restaurant, and another five minutes re-writing the menu until you've got a meal that meets your diet's specifications...and then you devour it in less than 60 seconds flat You consider a day when you only have to make ONE trip to the gym a luxury
  You need to wee wee atleast 4x in the nightYou think about having "relaxed hands" ,lats out and sticking your butt out while standing in line at the grocery store (Hey, a girl's gotta practice her posing)
  HAVE FUN! This is a sport, but taking it too serious takes half of the fun away, meet new people, goof off, have a ball....after all you've worked hard to get where you are, now it's time to enjoy it!
  

2days to go!

sorry havent wrote in FOREVER!
well its the week!FINALLY !thought this day would never come.
training is actually hard for once... & im so un-motivated for it..
Been super clean all week!havent cheated since last monday!holding out as long as i can! oz i wana go to watch ANB nationals in a couple of weeks ill b filming/interviewing/photographs everyone for Mikes teams website so cant wait&i wana look hot doing it.
I can defiantly see changer this week!abs r showing i can wear short tight tops :-) which i did last night to the gym.Never got so many looks before.My arms were lean &veiny it was great!
today i feel like absolute SHIT!No carbs all week only protein+broccoli .Life is great :-p
so im doing another federation to what i initially planned to do. WNBF which iv done every other time.Coz i can do Sports model & USA Figure (which u dont have to b extremely RIPPED) which im not.coz iv fkd up so much on diet :-(
NEXT YEAR !i shouldn't of even planned to compete this time ,its like iv been dieting all year!not 100% but mostly! need my body A REST! re-set & get pumped for next year!

I haven't drank" since June then before that January! same with chocolate! im kinda scared to go back there too..


Overdoing it with cardio thats why im getting no response! so il have to stop completly (well apart from my classes) & try eat clean as. then slowly start cardio again. thats fkd hey!fitness instructors get to that plateu were all the work is going to becoming more FIT rather then burning fat :-(
I got a spin class to teach this arvo.. wtf ..i got some new beats (songs) so that hopefully will get me pumped! then for my spray tann.
Just putting more diamonds on my costume atm,,im using the ones from last year (for sports model,baby blue) & this year (for Figure-aqua )-which is the one im loading with diamons so it looks different. haha
This weekend will b a bit of a battle.its a 2day comp,so sports model Saturday,then Sunday
im depleting already,last 3days been having 8 yes 8!litres of water a day.10x to the toilet a night! today's 4 tomorrow 2,then 0 (sips) all weekend.ill b fkd Sunday!
Im so excited!i cant wait!
anyways swill post tomorrow if i remember to see how things go.
OV-WA
xx

Contest Time!
If you have been dieting down for a contest, and training twice a day for 10 weeks, you want to be sure everything you consume is what you need, gram for gram. Having a cheat day at least once a week can help keep your sanity during your contest prep. The final two to four weeks before your show are crucial to your chances of winning, and here is what I did during that time.
Competing to win means sacrifice, and when I was dieting for my bodybuilding contest, I didn't cheat the last four weeks.

These thoughts which I ran through my mind is what helped me maintain my focus:

• Do what your competitors are doing, but do it better.
  


• Eat how your competitors are, but eat cleaner.
  


• Never miss a workout, and train like your competitors, but train harder and smarter.
  


• Most importantly, keep in mind that your time will come when you will be off your contest diet.

Now, while you are dieting and training, keep in mind it will be your time to shine and the stage is YOURS when u get up there!show it off &know to ursef u worked & put in the most effort u possibly could to look the way you do!

(Me& my boy Paul competing at the WNBF Sydney titles May 2009) He won overall Mr Sydney

On track

its been a while since ive wrote hey..
Well its wednesday.Me& paul had our 2year anniversery on monday so he took the day off& we chilled at his house.He bought me a sliver diamond cross for my necklace & i got him a $250 watch! i went overboard hey!
didnt eat too good on the weekend. and didnt train either..
Im not sure on if im competing or not..still gona see what happenes.. this week im on
Diet- M1-M3 = Protein (90g) + Greens (200g) M4-M6 =Protein (90og)
yep 0 carbs. i need to get to the weekend & if i feel that i need carbs i will have 1cup
Gota stay strong & get lean for parklife 3weeks!! & then a week after will b COMP if im in shape.
Training- 1hour cardio am. pm-weights + 20min HARD cardio.
Non weight days am-1hour, p.m -1hour (CARDIO)

Oh my my mood had been insane lately up & down like a yo yo!

Less then 5weeks till im up on stage!

Well lets say i fkd up on a MONDAY!!! so dissapointed.under the bridge now though..

so lets catch up..

Last week it was friday night,i was at my best friends bbq,she just got back from overseas,so had all the girls at hers drinking,there was finger food.&i got right into it.Cheese&crackers.I didnt end up going out clubbing with them coz i had to work early the next morning.

Got back home & kept eating.but i stayed clean so that was ok..

Saturday mad sandhills session.In a crop top.worked for an hour hard! So many guys out there haha,didnt mind the looks i was getting either.But i wasnt there for that.i was there to work my ass off& burn most of that shit from lastnight!

Went into the city saturday with my bf& his mate,sorting out our tatoo's.Guy in there was too busy so we didnt et anything done.if he wasnt busy i deadset would of got it!

We stopped at Brighton on the way home for lunch it was about 3 o'clock! I ordered a burger,fries+salad.This was going to be my cheat.It was huge! didnt get all the way through either. Got called to fill in a 4:30pm spin.wow i just ate.bloated now to teach a class.haha oh well WHY NOT! so did that,had a few moments where i felt like i needed to puke.but it stayed down.

Mmm the munchie devil came back to attack,&i hit up the bakery on my way home ,bought 3 things.This mini cheese cake,mini lemon merangue& an apple pie. WTF laura!Ate that in the car on way home.then we had a fahters day dinner,CHINESE! so was eating that.& topped it off with some icecream&cake. dude.... after this the depression kicks in & its the WORST FEELING! yet i keep doing this to my body. why dont i learn from my mistakes?!?! seriosuly.... its a good satisfying feeling at the time,but its soooooo bad when im full.&my mood goes haywire after it.i just blame everyone for everything..This is why i hate eating shit around ppl& in the day coz after im like putting everyone else down coz i feel down.but then at night its worse coz im going staright to bed!& thats what i did :-(

Wo0ke up sunday morning staright to Cronulla (beach) 1hour jog.then had to work 7:30am-5pm. little to eat all day.My punishment!

Went out that night with my friends.danced danced danced!

Monday beginning of the week-beginning of a new start.yeh didn that happen... NO! fuck ...

Did my hour cardio ive got this new thing i do. i run from North croulla to greenhills on the path,then do 5sprints on the grass,run from there to North cronulla on the sand,then up to shelly beach & back to South then walk through the mall,Check out the scene walk past everyone scoffing down cakes & there junk of a breakfast& back to my car. Haha.Its fun..

Did it this morning too.

So i got home monday had my meal 1. I have now 4low days which is NO carbs. Just protein+greens. &3high days which is Purple yeh purple sweet p. for breakfast &post workout. I havent got to the high days yet im waiting till friday for that. Gota punish myself for the monday!

Oh yeh i didnt finish...

so monday... grrrr.... i was starving& couldnt find an alternative. The munchie devil was back to attack AGIAN! seriously i wana kill this dude!!! i was going sweet last week & he came back!!!!

so i tried staying CLEAN! got a bowl of oats& egg white & put a banana in for s trear. bow bow! WRONG THING TO DO. coz from that SUGAR!!! insulin rises& it goes from there :-(

I was full yeh full after that meal but the mind was saying "MORE MORE MORE". Started on some almonds,cashew&dried fruit. i dno why i crave this but i have ever since i started competing. I was going to train with my friend Naomi today& my brain was just in the 'fkd up mode' & i was gona cnacel it coz i was so down on myself.. i even wrote the msg saying i wasnt gona make it.. junk food seriously fks up with ur brain!

but no i had to train! so i got my stuff & left the house.But what did i do on the way,stopped at the corner store &bought a packet of almonds & a banana muffin$1. grrrr. ate it on the way to the gymWe trained. & that was good.till i left.. was wanting MORE food.stopped at a bakery & got an apple pie. Dropped in at my nans to see her&took her out for coffee& what did i order, an ice coffee with icecrea+cream& cheese cake! it didnt even taste good.i had 1/2 & was like OMG STOP!!! ring ring "can u full in a cycle class at 5:30" YES! i killed myself that class,all out.

didnt eat for the rest of the day.

seriously.its craz how eating so clean & then destoring that rythem to eating junk can fk ur brain up so much... & yet i still do it.. i cant just have like 1 bit of something.its gota be heaps till the point where im full & sick.

i dont want to did this anymore...& im scared of whats gona happen after my comp..

its nealr summer & i want a good body more than anything! i just got to find my way around diet! eating clean all the time..

Well im off gota run a circuit class for year 10 students.

i did one last night ,was pretty fun.had a huge class,all different ages.their so nice! loved it

till next time! hopefully next time i write it will be "stuck through with diet" feeling great!

Lv x

The comp im doing.>

Good week. so far

Hello hello.

(Working at the Fitness expo,&me with blonde hair!)
Its wednesday morning.Cardio& meal1 down pact
Had monday off.&gona train everday for the rest of the week. 6weeks out. IM KEEN AGAIN!
Fingers crossed i stick with it this time!!! 5weeks till parklife & 8weeks till Nationals.
Started going for walks with my friend Pete , we walk from Cronulla gym along the esplanade & back for a good hour just over.He competes too but hes just wanting to tone up now for summer.
(Dont we all!)
Been good with diet so far,so need to hold out till saturday.Im gona write down everything i crave & wait.
Im training with my friend Naomi today she competes in figure. So she should give me a push which'll b good. Had a sweet surf yesterday,still heaps cold.Cant wait till summer!!
Lv x